Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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