I forgot how hot balto sounded
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
