i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
