wat bout pragnant strippers??
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Randomize
