He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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