i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
