my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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