I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
