arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
