hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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