sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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