I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
You pole danced in your parka.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
