He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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