Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
