yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
