My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
