I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
you will always have a special place in my vag
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
