pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
