FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
