He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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