How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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