U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Randomize
