I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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