And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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