"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
