PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
