There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
