You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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