I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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