You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
