Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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