Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
