put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
