Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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