Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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