I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
