My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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