I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
