It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
