And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
