Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
