She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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