I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
