I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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