Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
