i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
