I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
