I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
