Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
