If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
That's intense
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Randomize
