just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
